Humanity's Strongest Cleaners
by Master Shorty 11
Summary: Armed with no weapons and no way to defend themselves and the people. Captain Levi and his team will have to improvise a strategy in attacking the titans, no pun intended.


_**Author's Note:**_ **A Fan Fiction Challenge from _ariatheguardianangle106_. Enjoy.**

* * *

Jean, Eren, Armin, and Levi stared at the wall, their eyes bigger than their heads. "You four!" Nile yelled, pointing at the four of them, while they had confused looks on their faces.

"Us?" Jean asked, pointing to himself, as he had no idea what _he_ did wrong. Probably Eren did something stupid and told on him.

"Yes! You! You damaged the wall!" Nile shrieked so high, that Levi thought he would die from the volume.

"No, we didn't!" Jean yelled back as he walked up to the wall, placing a hand on it and leaning. "See, it's fine!" he said pridefully, as a piece of the wall fell. "Oops…"

Armin had a look of fear in his eyes, wondering what their punishment was. "Uh… we'll fix it," he said meekly.

"Look around you, kid. There is no way you can fix that!" Nile said pointing to the damaged wall.

"Will you shut up. You're yelling so high that I think my ears will bleed," Levi stated glaring at Nile.

"Why you…." Nile muttered as he saw Erwin walking to where they were with Hanji not too far behind. "Commander, look what they did!" he yelled crossing his arms. "They damaged the wall!"

"Yes, I can see that," Erwin stated with a bored expression on his face. Hanji looked up at the wall, laughing madly. As if she wasn't already mad.

"Well, they should be punished!" Nile started, pointing at them. Gosh, Nile really did have a good set of lungs.

* * *

Well, Eren did not expect for their punishment to be cleaning up the mess they made. In doing so on their last mission, they ruined some houses, wrecked the stables, tracked dirt and mud everywhere, and there were a bunch of trees knocked over. They had even been told that they were stuck cleaning for two weeks!

Levi let out a groan as he stepped in mud. "Disgusting," Eren heard him mutter. The Captain had even been mumbling a lot of things on how this wasn't really his fault.

Jean banged his head on the broom. "This. Is. Ridiculous!" he screamed. Gosh, looks like Nile's yelling is a sickness that is apparently contagious.

Eren scowled. "No need to make the situation worse with your shouting, Jean," he snapped. It wasn't a good morning for either of them.

Armin was staring at two people. He overheard one of them saying that they were going to lead a horde of Titans to the wall and have them attack tomorrow. Armin quickly turned away and acted like he was minding his own business. He waited till they were gone, planning to tell the others what he had heard.

After Armin explained everything, Jean looked like he was excited, for some unknown reason. "If we tell Commander Erwin, he'll let us back into the mission and we won't have to do this stinky job!" Jean explained.

Levi frowned. "Yes, but only we can't go back to HQ," he said blankly, somehow remaining calm about the situation.

"Yes, there is only one problem, we can't fight the titans by ourselves," Armin started, pushing his hair out of his face. "We don't have any weapons. We'd be killed."

Eren turned to face Armin. "I have my Titan abilities, remember?" he asked the boy with a smile. "And, we can't let them get to the wall. Erwin is already on an expedition, so we can't alert him either way."

"I also have a plan," Jean said with a smirk.

* * *

The Next Day

"The Titans are attacking!" a woman yelled.

Jean, Eren, Armin, and Levi were all standing on the wall with…... cleaning supplies? Levi had the broom and mop, Armin had the feather duster, Eren had windex and a washcloth, and Jean had the vacuum. (Just for laughs. I know they don't have electricity).

"Uh… Jean, how are we going to jump off the wall? We have no ODM Gear," Armin concluded.

Levi smirked and pushed Armin off Wall Maria. The boys scream was so loud, that it could attract Titans from 506 miles away. Armin thought that he would be met with death, until he landed on a soft bush. Eren, and Jean all screamed when they fell and were met with the same bush. Levi was the only one that made falling look awesome.

"Okay, so, what do we do now, Jean?" Eren asked as Jean looked at Eren.

"Uh…. do your Titan powers, or something!" Jean yelled as a Titan was approaching. Eren went to turn into his Titan form, but, for some odd reason it didn't work. "Oh yeah, I just realized, I have a twisted ankle and Titan abilities don't work when you're wounded…" he trailed off.

"Levi!" Jean shouted, glaring at the captain. "You pushed him off the wall and made him twist his ankle!"

"It's not my fault that he has a fragile ankle," Levi responded. "Now," he said, brandishing his broom and mop. "Time for action."

Jean chased after the Titans with his vacuum and surprisingly, they were afraid of it. Jean let out a cackle. He was doing just fine until his cord came out of the outlet.

When the horrid vacuum died, the Titans smiled evilly at him until Jean held out his hand, gesturing for them to pause. "Hold on a sec…." he stated as he went back to get the extension cord.

He plugged the extension cord in and turned his vacuum back on, then resumed chasing the Titans.

Armin, Eren, and Levi were fighting off a Titan. Armin started to dust the Titans long, bumpy nose. Well, the Titan sneezed, but snot went _everywhere_!

"EWW! DISGUSTING!" Levi screamed as the Titans snot went all over him, and Armin along with Eren.

"It is in my mouth…" Eren said as he started gagging. Snot was in his hair and all over his clothes. Eren stuck his tongue out and tried to ignore the fact that a Titan just sneezed.

Armin looked like a monster. He was covered from head to toe in snot. "Uh…. my bad," the blonde boy said with a smile.

"Do you think we could get a Titan to cry so that it can wash us clean?" Levi asked, looking at Eren, which gave Eren a clue to go make a Titan cry.

A Titan ran up to them and picked Eren up. Eren screamed before realizing that he was armed. Eren grabbed the windex and sprayed it right into the Titan's eyes.

The Titan blinked and started crying. Levi, Armin, and Eren all got showered off from the tears while it was crying and Eren used it as an opportunity to get out of its hand.

A Titan charged forward, and Levi, who was on the roof, fell into its mouth. The Titan's mouth snapped shut at that moment, with the Captain inside.

"LEVI!" the three boys yelled, hoping that the Captain was still alive. They all stared as Levi's cravat came off and flew through the teeth of the Titan. "This is all that's left of him?" Eren asked holding the cravat as if it was a treasure.

Jean looked sad for a moment until he went to grab the cravat "I want it! Give it to me!" Jean yelled tugging on the cravat.

Eren let out a gasp. "You dare touch the Captain's holy cravat?! It is glorious! It should be put in a museum! Maybe Hanji can clone him!" Eren said holding his fist in the air. He then paused. "Too much?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jean said as he went back to tugging on the cravat. "Do we _really_ want another Levi?"

The Brown haired boy just ignored what he said. "No! I touched it first! It's mine!" Eren shouted back as him and and Jean were playing a game of Tug A War. "It's good luck!"

Armin then jumped in on it as all three were tugging on it until they heard a voice from inside the Titan's mouth say, "Hm.. it's dusty in here."

Everyone cringed at the horrible, screeching sound coming from the Titan's mouth as Levi started scrapping at the Titan's teeth. The Titan's eyes widened as it opened its mouth, trying to get the determined Captain out of its mouth.

In that moment, Levi leaped out of the mouth as the Titan flashed it's now, pearly white teeth. "Flashy," Levi said with a wink.

Eren and Jean's jaws dropped as Armin handed Levi the cravat. "Eh.. I'll sew it back on later…" he said trailing off as he stuffed it in his pocket.

"Hey, I think we took care of all the Titans!" Eren said overjoyed.

"Yes we did," Jean said happily, his smile wider than his face.

Levi stared at the town around them with a frown. "Yes, but this place is a dump. Boys," he announced. "Grab a broom and get sweeping."

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ **I know that they don't electricity. This is just a pure Humor Fan Fiction.**


End file.
